Live-in relationships sound exciting and modern, but here's how you can protect yourself legally

Vidya B’s mother never understood why she would want to move in with her partner instead of just getting married. “What if he finds someone better than you?” was her question. “Admittedly, that was the first question I had too,” says the Mumbai-based media professional. Mothers really know how to find your deepest insecurity, wringing you out like a dishcloth.

Statistics show that 80% of Indians support live-ins as a way of life. Of these, 26% of millennials polled said that they would choose lifelong live-ins as an option over marriage.

Living together can give couples all the advantages of autonomy – doing what you want in your own space, maintaining pre-existing local arrangements and friendships – as well as the pleasures of intimacy with a partner. Some even see it as “subverting gender roles”— to escape traditional divisions of labour. Kind of like the arrangement Ambar and Nikhil had for a while in Salaam Namaste.

But this isn’t reel life. Live-ins can make women vulnerable and anxious about the future. Families may or may not accept such relationships. It can be hard to ignore Panchayati Phuphaji and his pointed comments about declining sanskaar.

Women can still often continue to perform traditional roles. Some might even stay in such relationships long after the expiry date, fearful of their partner, afraid of social stigma or unaware of the safeguards in place to protect them.

There’s no room for guesswork here, so we dove deep into what women need to know before moving in with their partners.

Though there isn’t one law that specifically addresses live-in relationships, the Supreme Court in 2010 laid down certain criteria to define legal live-in relationships in India:

• The couple must hold themselves out to society as being akin to spouses.
• They must be qualified to enter into a legal marriage.
• They must be of legal age to marry.
• They must have voluntarily cohabited for a significant period of time

Live-in relationships in India — know your rights

Maintenance: Initially, the Code of Criminal Procedure only allowed married women, who were dependent, to claim maintenance from the husband.

“Today, a woman who has lived with a man like his wife for a considerable period of time is also legally eligible for maintenance. Even if the live-in partners are no longer together, they still have a responsibility to care for any children born out of the relationship, so it extends to them as well,” says family court advocate Nidhi Vyas.

Property: Amendments to Hindu Succession Act, 1956, give women the same rights as that of a son to her parental property and self-acquired property, irrespective of her marital status.

A woman can also receive her partner’s property in the form of a gift or bequest. “A person can only give away self-earned or owned (which someone else gifted/bequeathed to him/her) property or money, and his own share of ancestral property, if he has already received it in a will and testament,” says Vyas.

Legitimacy of children: Children born to partners in legal live-in relationships in India have the same rights as those of married couples, so long as the relationship itself is a long-term one.

Custodial rights: The welfare of the minor is of paramount importance, and the courts will consider the same and award custody accordingly.

Advertising professionals Sanjana and Shane Menezes had an acrimonious split after being together for 10 years. The court granted custody of both their children — below ages of seven — to Sanjana. “The court concluded that the mother is the natural guardian to a child if she is not married,” says Sanjana.

Succession and property rights of children: The Supreme Court has also extended property rights to children born out of legal live-in relationships in India. They cannot be denied the shares in their parents’ properties. When it is ancestral property, the father may pass it on in his will and testament once he receives his share.

Protection from abuse: When it comes to live-in relationships in India, the woman is protected from broad forms of violence that take place in a domestic setting under the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence (PWDV) Act, 2005.

“A woman has the right to file a complaint if she experiences physical, emotional, verbal, or financial abuse. She is entitled to all available remedies that are available to married victims of domestic violence,” says Vyas.

Grey areas: A deeper study of personal law is needed to understand the extent that property rights and succession are covered if you are Muslim, Christian or Parsi.
There are unaddressed questions such as whether if same-sex partners in live-in relationships also qualify for these protections. It’s a thought that stops Lucknow-based Kashish Saxena from sharing a life with her partner of six years. “My parents are against the relationship. I worry about my future, if the relationship fails,” says the marketing executive. Protection from intimate partner violence, particularly sexual, is also a grey area.

Melinda Gates once said, “A woman with a voice is by definition a strong woman. But the search to find that voice can be remarkably difficult.” Hiring a good lawyer can, however, help you understand your rights better and help you get there.