Need a career coach? Turn to the novel

Women are told that they can do it all, raise a child, start a business, keep on top of family life. And we do it. But at some point, we’re bound to get overwhelmed, burnt out or just stuck. And lo and behold, the unsolicited advice starts flowing. “But this was bound to happen na, you should’ve instead done…” “Don’t want to interfere, but if it were my kid, I would…”

As much as your good senses know this noise should be ignored, it often does end up taking up a lot of storage space in your brain. Your defenses come up, you feel judged, and you shut down. Sometimes so much, you actually miss the kernels of good advice in the mix. The good news? Every single woman you’ve ever admired or aspired to be like—in the news, in your neighbourhood, in your own family—has been there. In fact, doesn’t the wisdom go that you don’t feel stuck unless you’re moving ahead?

You can attend all the motivational seminars, but real inspiration and encouragement rarely come with a screen, pointer and Powerpoint presentation. They need to come from lived and shared experiences. It’s probably why there is nothing more energising and uplifting than sharing your problems with other women, and listening to theirs—face-to-face or even face-to-book—ideally with a kadak cup of chai in hand. We find our answers in each other’s stories.

Tweak Book Club decided to create just this sort of space, bringing together successful women from across industries, over caffeine and books, to share notes as well as divulge where they found the motivation that got them unstuck. This joyful gathering took place on a Friday evening in April, at Madeleine de Proust, Fairmont Mumbai. The light-flushed Bridgerton-esque tea room, full of indulgent snacks and tiny cakes, was populated with passionate women who all have one thing in common: their love for their work.

Tapping into the cephalopod within

Once introductions were made and everyone had tucked into their cucumber sandwiches and blueberry mousse bites, Tweak’s founder and author, Twinkle Khanna, kicked off the afternoon.

Each guest had been asked to bring a quote that had motivated them at a time in their career when they most needed it, and Khanna began by sharing her own story. “I started Tweak because I realised that I had turned into a squid. As someone who had been writing for so long, squirting ink had become my form of survival and defence. And I’ve always believed that the odds are stacked against women and maybe [Tweak] was my way of evening out the playing field. But, one squid can only do so much, so I gathered a group of women, who also squirted ink and we formed this space.”

She said how her squid avatar made her relate to another cephalopod, Marcellus the Pacific octopus from Tweak Book Club’s book of the month for April, Remarkably Bright Creatures (2023) by Shelby Van Pelt. The story takes place in an aquarium and follows the unlikely friendship between Marcellus and the old, widowed night-cleaner, Tova. The particular line that resonated with Khanna is said by one of the characters to a young man who is grumbling about the bad luck in his life: “You can never be against the cards that are dealt, you can’t hold that against you, but you control the way you play”.

Regret sometimes becomes a part of just existing as a woman. But if you know you’ll be judged for everything that you do, or don’t do, might as well do what you like, right?

Vinita Makhija, a creative director and fashion stylist, found the right words for this very emotion, “Guilt is a currency used to keep women in control so they don’t aspire to be more. We have to stop playing good-girls.”

We tend to do it, don’t we? Carry the load ourselves and never let anyone see how stretched we are? Perhaps it’s the price women are expected to pay for daring to have full lives of their own, rather than living for and through others.

You can do everything on your own, but should you?

Women professionals, and especially those in leadership positions, aren’t really set up to succeed. You contend with so many challenges, both personal and systemic. You must give your all to your job, but be an equally present partner and parent, and keep your nail-paint unchipped too. You’ll also be undermined and have to prove your mettle over and over again. And you better not show any emotion about it either. It’s an impossible balancing act, yet when we inevitably falter we see it as a personal failing.

Khanak Gupta, founder of Sohrai Beauty, found inspiration in Welcome Home, a guide by poet and educator Najwa Zebian, on how to build a home inside yourself and become truly resilient from within. “These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb,” is the quote that spoke to her. She further added, “I feel like as women, we tend to pull a lot of weight, a lot of pressure, all by ourselves; but actually we really don’t have to do that. As a young entrepreneur, I’m beginning to learn to lean on my team more often.”

Following this short exchange, the gathering split into smaller groups, freely moving between conversations, exchanging numbers and Instagram handles. Every now and then, there would be sounds of women laughing out loud together, or happy exclamations of recognition and acknowledgement. By the time the evening drew to a close, there had already begun to exist a sweet familiarity and comfort. We certainly did not feel like calling an end to this little slice of time that we had carved for ourselves.