The best household items for self-pleasure, according to experts

It’s playtime

Somewhere between going from two ponytails to an ombré hairdo, the meaning of the rabbit changed for us — from a soft, cuddly animal to the dual stimulator sex toy. It became a pop culture masturbation mascot thanks to Sex and The City, and gained infamy due to its ability to always deliver a big, intense O. We’ve gone beyond the rabbit now with the sex toy market in India booming with products that cater to every whim.

However, acquiring and owning a sex toy is still very awkward. What if someone sees the delivery? What if my child finds it in my bedside table drawer? It’s a little too expensive! A quick poll with Tweak readers told us that 73% have never used a sex toy and 58% of women are not comfortable ordering one online.

While sex toys are the safest to use, you don’t need to depend on them entirely to indulge in self-play and masturbation.

“Historically, when commercial sex toys weren’t available or culturally accepted, people turned to household items for exploration,” says Apurupa Vatsalya, sexuality educator and programme officer sexual and reproductive health, rights, and justice at The YP Foundation.

If you’re a sex toy novice, these suggestions from experts on using household items for self-pleasure will take you on a wild ride.

Turning the page on the clit and G-spot

When we speak of pleasure, we tend to focus on the sex organs – the ever-elusive clitoris, the hard-to-get G spot (located an inch or two inside the vaginal opening), and breasts that should be identical, but are almost always fraternal. But our body has several erogenous zones like the inner thighs, ears, nape of the neck, behind the knees, and lower abdomen among others that when stimulated right can change the pleasure experience.

Pallavi Barnwal, a certified intimacy coach and founder of GetIntimacy.com agrees, “Masturbation is a genitally focused experience while self-pleasure is a whole-body experience. The goal of the latter is to help you expand beyond the narrow lane of ejaculation or clitoral orgasm as the culmination of masturbation. Through self-pleasure, you will learn how to feel more relaxed, confident, and excited by your body and its potential for pleasure.”

Vatsalya emphasises on the importance of sensual play too. “It’s about discovering what feels good to you in a relaxed and private setting.” She suggests engaging in mindful touch and gently exploring your body with your hands, feeling the different sensations and using lotion or oil to massage yourself. She also recommends mirror work — looking at yourself and focusing on what you love about your body.

Blindfolds, bananas and beyond

There are several household items you can use to generate different pleasurable sensations. Vatsalya suggests items with soft textures like feathers, silk, or sponges; items with gentle vibration; water streams; and massage oils for sexual pleasure.

Bring all senses into the mix: starting with self-play

Imagine mood lighting, a lavender-scented candle and silk sheets. If you’re engaging in self-play, why not go into it with full taam-jhaam? Instead of going straight to the clit, prepare your body and mind by bringing all your senses and erogenous zones into the mix. Sensory play can serve as good foreplay to prepare for pleasure.

Barnwal suggests using micro-fiber mitts or towels on your inner thighs for a tender touch. This provides a soft and luxurious feeling for the skin. You can further heighten the pleasure by adding a blindfold to the mix. Blocking one sense makes others more potent. It also helps you focus on tactile sensations, increasing arousal and pleasure.

Next, try rolling a whisk all over your body on the various erogenous zones. You can also gently tap the whisk on your skin for impact play – a sexual practice where one person is struck by another repeatedly for the sexual gratification of one or both. When flying solo, strike yourself with a force that feels right to you.

Heard of spooning? For this one, you don’t need a partner. Metal spoons offer a snug fit around rounded body parts. You can place metal spoons on nipples, testicles, and your posterior. They’re also great for temperature play, which involves using hot and cold items to stimulate neuroreceptors in your body to heighten sexual sensations—the same reason sex educators often suggest using ice cubes during foreplay. When a simple touch isn’t cutting it, put the metal spoon in a freezer or a bowl of hot water to take the arousal up a notch.

“Items that provide gentle pressure or a unique texture are good for clitoral stimulation. It’s essential to be gentle and to use items that are clean and safe for skin contact,” says Vatsalya. Belts can be used for gentle, consensual spanking or as a restraint in BDSM play, scalp massager can be used for gentle stimulation of erogenous zones as the sensation can be relaxing and subtly arousing. “For any form of stimulation, lube can enhance the experience and reduce friction. Condoms can be useful to create a safe barrier,” adds Vatsalya.

All aboard the vagina train: next stop masturbation

If you wish to experiment with household items, ensure that the item is smooth, has no sharp edges, is thoroughly cleaned, and always covered with a condom. “Objects that aren’t designed for sexual use can get lost inside the vagina or anus, so it’s crucial to use items that have a flared base or easy retrieval method,” says Vatsalya. She lists a few recommendations.

Hairbrush handle: This sounds like common sense, but make sure it’s smooth and clean, with no sharp edges.

Silicone, plastic and rubber handles: Think of objects like a spatula or clean toothbrush (the non-electric kind). A silicone spatula with a wide, flared handle is safer to prevent it from getting lost or worse stuck in there. Avoid using objects that can break or cause injury.

Smooth cosmetic bottles: Like a lotion bottle with a secured cap.

Cucumber or banana: Always use one with a condom—the added layer of protection will save you from any bacterial infection. Do not use it for penetration if it’s too soft or ripe.

Safety checks

Safety is the first box to check when venturing into sexual experimentation.

Start slow: Porn, smutty books and movies might’ve fooled us into believing rough sex is the most pleasurable but being gentle with yourself will allow you to find the sensations that’ll make your skin jump up and take notice.

Consent and communication: If you’re with a partner, keep communication open about what feels good and what doesn’t. If you’re trying something new, establish a safe word or signal.

Use safe materials: Avoid items with sharp edges, toxic materials, or anything that could break and cause injury.

Personal hygiene: Cleanse both your body and your hands before and after self-pleasure.

Sanitise: Wash household items with warm water and antibacterial mild soap. Ensure they are thoroughly dried before use. Keep them exclusive for sex and don’t use them for other daily purposes. Ensure you sanitise them between uses. Disinfect the sturdy ones with boiling water.

Anything sharp, breakable, or with small parts; items with chemicals or irritants; anything that could cause harm if used internally should be avoided.

Self-pleasure can be as relaxing and liberating as journaling with an added dose of dopamine, the feel-good hormone and oxytocin, the love drug. It helps one in getting to know their body intimately, “You will be given space to overcome shame, feel more confident in your skin, and be able to enjoy self-pleasuring as a healthy part of your sex life,” concludes Barnwal.

Take ‘love yourself’ literally this time.

Disclaimer: Please try these suggestions at your own risk and consult an expert or your healthcare provider.