Romance novels are more than 'trashy mommy porn'
These titles will change your mind
Do you remember what your first celebrity crush felt like? The exhilarating giddiness, high stakes, emotional investment in the life of someone who didn’t know you even existed. Whether it was Jungkook, Beyonce, or SRK, you followed their every move obsessively. You wanted to be with them, but since you couldn’t, you were wishing the best for them — rooting for these total strangers. It’s the same feeling that reading romance novels gives you. At least, according to my friend.
I was listening to her describe the romance novels she loved in detail, ballooning with excitement and enthusiasm, especially when the topic of the TV adaptation of The Bridgerton series came up. Then she pulled the handbrake herself, stating, “It’s my guilty pleasure.” Her shifty eyes tried to gauge my response. Romance books have been so stigmatised that even while talking to a friend, she felt the need to add a disclaimer that screamed “I don’t take it seriously, it’s an embarrassing pastime.”
The shame of reading romance novels is real, and I, too, am guilty of participating in the tsk tsk and head shakes at such “lowbrow”, predictable, and frivolous books. Call it my ego and need to impress others, my fear of getting too emotional, or a lack of familiarity with the genre; no matter how highly recommended romance novels are, they have never found a spot on my reading list. Until now.
The advice all great writers have for others in their field is to read more. But I’d been struggling. When you spend all day looking at words and trying to poetically string them together, my brain rejected them completely in my downtime. So I turned to audiobooks — more specifically, The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. I dislike TV/film reboots but I’m a sucker for literary retellings. Give me The Palace of Illusions with the Mahabharata from Panchaali’s perspective, and I’m sold.
I hung onto every word in Miller’s book as she brought to life Greek gods and legends, humanising mythical beings from Homer’s Illiad. She didn’t gloss over the same-sex love between Achilles and Patroclus, as has largely been done in pop-culture retellings, instead made it the focus. The characters were real and flawed, as was their relationship. I knew the tragic end that was coming up but the beauty was in the build-up. And that’s when I finally got that thrill my friend was gushing about. I had succumbed to a historical romance novel.
Caught in a bad romance
Despite being the single biggest moneymaking genre, romance novels have a bad reputation. Some see mental flashes of Mills & Boon book covers and designate it as straight-up “mommy porn”. Then there are those who lament how disconnected the genre is from our bleak and colourless reality.
Since I’ve taken the plunge into the world of romance novels, I’ve recognised the “perils as well as pleasures” that they have to offer. That’s how writer Nichole Perkins describes it in a podcast, and listening to her, I found myself nodding along in agreement.
She describes how being an avid reader of romance novels could give you unrealistic expectations for real-life relationships, saying she assumed the men she encountered would be “tender and caring, and put my needs first, especially in bed. I was very much disappointed when I started having sex and getting into real relationships.”
There are certain tropes in the genre that romanticise violent men. Anger and jealousy are something hot and desirable in male characters who get possessive over the female protagonist. “I loved the idea that this grumpy man was a beast and could only be soothed by the heroine. When I experienced that in real life, it was awful. That never came across in romance novels. I realised it was a fantasy and adjusted my expectations from there.” There, she hits the nail on the head – adjusting our expectations. With a genre so skewed and reviled that even one of its bestselling authors Nicholas Sparks makes it a point to differentiate himself as a writer of ‘love stories’ instead, we need to go into romance novels with a clear lens.
Once you do, there’s a lot we can also learn from it. As Perkins says, “I have learnt that I can be vocal about what I want.” Whether it’s about your desires, what you want or need from a relationship, it allows us to explore different kinds of relationships and our sexuality. That sensuality and intimacy can be about more than dark and mysterious hunks getting down and dirty; it’s also in the language that we use when we communicate with our partner.
Romance novels have come a long way from being one-dimensional bodice rippers. Conventionally, talk of female sexuality and women enjoying sex was such a taboo that these books caused palpitations across society. Intimacy was always implied — that is, until The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss blew up literary society in the 1970s by really spelling out the female characters’ enjoyment of sex. Many credit Woodiwiss with laying the foundation for what the modern romance genre has become.
Sure, there are still books with questionable power dynamics, sexism when it comes to reinforcing gender roles, graphic and detailed sexual encounters. Though I’ve learnt now that if that’s what someone enjoys reading and wants to escape into, why not? A little literary BDSM never hurt anyone.
The romance genre has grown over time to represent all kinds of loves, relationships and sexual encounters. There’s something for every persuasion. From slow-burn intimacy without being super explicit, to pages worth of intimate acts to devour. You can still expect the popular tropes of enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, historical period dramas, fake relationships, opposites attract, and all that jazz that gives romance novels their melody. But if you want something disconnected from reality, so far removed from your personal life that you can be someone else for a few pages, then I’m here for it.
About 78% of 897 Tweak readers said they enjoyed reading romance novels. For the other 22%, if you’re as averse to the idea of picking up a romance novel as I was, then I say: give these titles a chance, and you may just change your stance.
A beginner’s book list of romance novels
Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston
It’s red, it’s white, and it royally blew up. For a while, it was impossible to go through the book side of Instagram and Youtube without seeing this punchy queer romance novel come up in recommendations. For good reason too. It has some modern political aspects to it – set in a world where the first female US president is elected after Obama – with a classic enemies-to-lovers and opposites attract storyline.
Speaking of storyline, our protagonists are sons of powerful world leaders. Alex Claremont-Diaz, son of the US president and Henry, Prince of Wales, consider each other to be their arch-nemesis.
A confrontation leads to a public scandal between the two. To quell the international PR disaster, they’re forced to fake a public friendship to save face for the families. The temperature changes as they spend more time with each other.
Overall, the book is fun, funny, with witty banter between the two and a sweet romance that’s easy to read. It’s a good place to start in the genre, especially if you’re trying to get yourself out of a reading slump.
Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren
Ask any lover of romance novels and they’ll tell you a good love story is more character-driven than it is about the plot. Here, Christina Lauren’s book takes the cake. This book gives you characters to fall in love with, plus you want them to fall in love with each other.
Our leads Hazel and Josh are total opposites. Hazel is the quirky hot mess, but with a level of self-awareness that doesn’t make you cringe at the stereotype. Josh, on the other hand, is calm, cool, and composed. Everything in his life has its place and structure, and from his first meeting with Hazel in college, he decided it wasn’t going to be a match.
But as they re-enter each other’s lives as adults, you realise they’re more complementary as people than expected. Hazel makes it her mission to make him her new best friend. Josh, in need of a friend at that moment, obliges.
They decide to set each other up on double dates. While they have fun with the respective partners they chose for each other, the growing chemistry and sexual tension between our protagonists becomes the elephant in the room. But is it worth jeopardising the friendship they share?
This one’s a light read that’ll leave you feeling fluffy inside. You can almost picture it unfolding as a rom-com movie in your head – with a few spicy scenes sprinkled in.
People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry
Like our previous pick, this one also follows the tropes of opposites attract and friends-to-lovers, crafted masterfully by Emily Henry. Alex and Poppy are wildly opposite from each other. The best friends who met in college take a summer vacation together every year despite living in different cities.
Poppy is a free-spirited travel blogger who wears her feels on her sleeve. Alex is more introverted and values his nights in with a good book. Their yearly vacations solidify their friendship but one trip is also what breaks it.
We jump right into the novel, learning that two years ago, something happened on the trip that made them stop speaking. In present day, Poppy has everything in her life that should make her happy, and she still isn’t. She reaches out to Alex, asking him to go on another trip with her to try and reconnect.
Alex agrees, and this trip makes up the rest of the story. But every other chapter you jump back in time to their previous trips together and see how their relationship grew over time – throwing into stark contrast how awkward they feel with each other in the present.
You’ll want to scream at the pages about how well they’d fit with each other, and yet you understand their apprehensions. When you’re so drastically different, with severely contrasting lifestyles, it’s a lot to work out. A real dilemma for will-they-won’t-theys around the world, making this book so easy to relate to.
The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion
When Bill Gates says he has gifted this book to 50 friends, you’re going to want to look into it. Our protagonist here is Don Tillman, a genetics professor who is incredibly socially awkward and struggles to form serious relationships with women. It’s implied that he’s on the autism spectrum.
Nearing his 40s, he decides it’s time to find a wife. Putting his genius, logical brain to use, he kicks off the “wife project” with a 16-page questionnaire to find a compatible partner. Enter Rosie, a young woman looking to find her father. Don tries to help her using his expertise. They end up going on a pretty wild adventure together in search of her father. But what essentially started as the wife project turns into the titular Rosie project as Don starts to fall in love with her.
The book has received criticism for its portrayal of a person on the spectrum. However, as Gates puts it, “What Don allows readers to appreciate is that, just because somebody might not be highly literate in the language of emotions doesn’t mean he doesn’t have emotions, and powerful ones at that. He sees the world in terms of logic, but he feels just as deeply about that world as everybody else. That puts him in a difficult position, and Graeme puts you right there with him.”
Pride, Prejudice, and Other Flavors by Sonali Dev
Sonali Dev gives us a gender-bending Pride and Prejudice inspired story mixed in with South Asian elements and immigrant experiences.
Dr Trisha Raje is our female Mr Darcy who despite being an acclaimed neurosurgeon is still the black sheep of the family. The male Lizzie Bennet in this book is DJ Caine, a chef, who finds Raje intolerable after their first few meetings. But she also ends up being the only one who can save his sister’s life.
Serving as a caterer to Raje’s affluent family would pay the medical bills. As tensions between the two rise and arguments ensue, they’re only drawn closer to each other. Spoiler alert: There is sensuality in the book, but our characters never get down to brass tacks.
Beyond the Austen storyline, Dev dives into creating side characters that you get invested in as well. Reading about the South Asian immigrant experience as Raje’s wealthy and erstwhile royal family settles in the US is enjoyable on its own.
That said, we should give a trigger warning for this book regarding a certain scandal in the plot that’s been classified by readers as abuse.
Me Before You by Jojo Moyes
We’re getting into the deep end now. Readers have found Me Before You to be as much a romance novel as it is an introspection on life and death. It left the audience divided in the end, but more on that later.
The story’s protagonists are Louisa Clark and Will Traynor. Louisa is your everyday woman, in a stable relationship and working to make ends meet. She starts a job working for Will, who is wheelchair-bound after a terrible accident. Will’s sour and moody, and as everyone walks on eggshells around him, Louisa is the one who refuses to baby him.
We learn that he wasn’t always like this. Once a larger-than-life guy, Will loved to travel the world and try new things. This new way of living isn’t working for him, and after hearing this, Louisa’s mission is to show him everything wonderful in life.
What follows is a series of outings together where they open up and grow closer. Louisa does all she can to try and make life as exciting as possible for Will.
However emotionally moving the story is, the biggest criticism for this book is its conclusion, and the kind of message it’s putting out there for people with disabilities. I’ll leave you to make up your own mind about it, and just hint at Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Guzaarish.
Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
Historical fiction meets romance, violence, and sex in Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series.
Simplified, the story opens in 1945. Claire Randall is a happily married woman and a former combat nurse. While visiting Scotland with her husband, she witnesses a group of women performing a ritual of some kind. Intrigued, she returns to the site the next day, and she’s whisked away to 1743 and into the arms of James Fraser, a Scottish warrior.
She’s stuck in a time and land she doesn’t understand and finds herself torn between being faithful to her husband and this new brewing desire within her for Fraser.
The author, in an interview, said Outlander was marketed as a romance novel because the publisher didn’t know where else to slot it to get good traction. But this book is not just a romance novel. Along with a hunky male hero, and several steamy scenes, it has elements of time travel and witches that dip into the fantasy realm.
But largely, it’s a historical read with detailed research into the Scottish Highlands, mixed with a lot of sex and violence. This one isn’t for the faint of heart.
It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover
Colleen Hoover is one of the best-selling authors in the genre, with 20 books and novellas to her name. It Ends with Us is a tearjerking, heart-wrenching favourite among readers.
This one cut deep, being perhaps the most realistic of stories on this list. Protagonist Lily is at a pretty low stage in her life when on a rooftop one night, she bumps into a handsome stranger, Ryle Kincaid. He’s a neurosurgeon, they connect and get on like a house on fire.
You get to happily watch their relationship grow and they fall deeper in love. Throughout the book, we also get a taste of Lily’s past. In her journals, she talks about her life growing up with her parents as well as her first love, Atlas. We learn about how her past creates who she is. There’s a dark turn in her seemingly perfect relationship with Ryle, and here, I give a flashing, five-alarm spoiler warning and trigger warning for abuse.
Hoover builds up the tension in such subtle and insidious ways that when the violence comes up, you almost start rationalising and justifying the man’s behaviour. “He’s such a great guy, he’d never do that.” “My heart breaks for him, he’s so torn up about it and he apologised!”
In a way, making you answer the questions that many women who experience domestic violence face – How could you stay so long? Why didn’t you just leave?
It’s what Lily thought she left behind when she left her parents and their abusive relationship. You get the sex scenes and intimacy in this book that you’d want from romance novels, but this one also stands apart for addressing a side of relationships that we don’t want to witness. With an ending treated with dignity, albeit a divisive one. As I’ve learned through my tryst with the romance genre, it can get just as contentious as a Marvel vs. DC fan war.
