Why are millennials so unhappy at work?

A member of each generation – X, millennial, and Z – meets up for a coffee. Gen Z has already made three memes about coffee giving them the only happiness they’ll get that day before asking for a different cup to match their outfit for a selfie. Gen X denounces the lack of gratitude that coffee is easily available now; in their day, the nearest chai tapri used to be 10 kilometres from their office. The millennial sips their drink silently, too afraid to cause a scene because they actually ordered an iced Americano. Although they don’t really like lattes, they will still finish it because they got the more expensive drink despite paying less for it.

If we go by popular stereotypes and headlines, Gen X thinks millennials are entitled and lazy. Millennials think Gen Z is too sensitive and self-indulgent. But as a fellow millennial, it’s hard not to be jealous of the generations that came before and after us. Life seemed simpler for Gen X. Tech didn’t dictate their every move, the planet wasn’t on fire, and you could actually get a filling meal for under INR 100. Meanwhile, Gen Z has the confidence and self-acceptance we desire and fake on social media. 

When it comes to working, millennials are the odd slice of tomato in a chutney sandwich. We’ve grown up being told that we’re special somehow, filled to the brim with our parents’ ambition and bombarded with our peers’ success (or what looks like it) on social media. We’ve watched our parents put their heads down and work at the same place for 30-40 years because it was a ‘good job’ with benefits. On the other hand, we’re seeing a younger generation ask for exactly what they want and then drop off when they aren’t getting it.

On average, millennials may have lower job satisfaction levels than previous generations. A 2019 survey by the Conference Board, a business membership and research group organisation, found that just over half of millennials (51%) reported being satisfied with their jobs, compared to 55% of Gen Xers and 64% of baby boomers.

TimesJobs’ 2016 job satisfaction survey revealed that 60% of employees are unsatisfied with their current job, while 80% said they are looking to career-hop.

What seems to be amiss, then? How can we be the most aspirational and educated generation but also be so unhappy at work?

“I feel guilty complaining about work when I know so many who have lost their jobs,” says 34-year-old Deekhsha Batra, a Bengaluru-based risk analyst. Her job is not bad, per se, but she’s still unhappy. “I’m jealous of Gen-Z; the ease and confidence with which they make decisions that we would otherwise ponder for months. I’ve seen young entrants at the office who just drop off after a few months because they don’t like the work. Here I sit, overthinking the report I have just shared with my superiors and wondering if the paycheque I’m stretching over rent, bills, and insurance is worth the hours I put in.” 

Batra isn’t the only one. And this was all pre-pandemic. After the lockdown started, 41-year-old Rupesh Tyagi* couldn’t sustain his independent design firm for long and pulled the shutters. He took up a permanent design position at an advertising agency. “There’s no concept of work hours. Clients are difficult and the bosses don’t back you up when you need it. Other than having a stable paycheque, I can definitely say I’m unhappy at work.”

With the burst of start-ups, there have been more millennial CEOs than in any previous generation, and with the pandemic putting a lot of small businesses in jeopardy, they’ve had to give up that position of power and go back to a more traditional structure, says psychotherapist Nishita Khanna. “There has also been a major shift in our perception of work. ‘Jobs’ are no longer a source of finance but a large part of people’s identity,” adds Khanna. “We have big dreams after seeing others live these great lives doing what we want to do. When it doesn’t live up to expectations, it shakes us to our core.” 

Work culture has also evolved beyond the 9-to-5, in good ways and bad. First, because of increasing competition, many companies don’t stick to the 9-to-5 system. Millennials crave work-life balance more than their parents, but smartphones have made us easily accessible. “I’ve had work emails demanding immediate attention come in way past midnight. When I don’t respond, or act on post-work hour requests, I’ve been pulled up for not being a ‘team player’,” Suhasini Naidu* laments. 

Priorities of employees have changed, says Raj Dua, former HR head at a leading advertising firm. Growing conversations about mental health in the workplace, maternity or paternity leave, gender equality, mentorship and sponsorship, and representation in boardrooms, aren’t reflected in how many large companies run. “This is a generation where a big office Diwali party won’t make up for the lack of an Internal Complaints Committee (ICC), for example. ‘Perks’ like a work phone bill reimbursement or an allowance for commuting isn’t a job benefit but something that should be a given.”

When you’re asked to introduce yourself to a new group of people, the instinctual response is to mention your name, where you are from, and what you do. Khanna’s observation that our job is intrinsic to how we see and identify ourselves makes sense. But we’re also evolving beyond that. In their book Reinventing Work in Europe: Value, Generations and Labour, Dominique Méda and Patricia Vendramin adopted a generational approach to understanding engagement with work. At least in the context of Europe, Méda notes that a “polycentric conception of existence” is emerging, meaning that work is no longer the central axis on which our life rotates. At least, that’s what we desire. This disconnect between dreams and reality is why millennials are unhappy at work. 

The adulting equation of job+marriage+house+kids+wealth=happiness that our parents followed has become outdated. This is neither the millennial dream, nor their reality. 

Sunny Moraine captured this millennial conundrum perfectly in a Twitter thread that quickly went viral. Moraine writes that every generation before the millennial has experienced this somehow. The ones to follow will, too, no matter how cool their moniker is. (I mean, generation Alpha? Come on, that’s just not fair.) But we’re experiencing “radical differences from what our parents went through”.

Millennials largely entered the workforce during a global recession in the late 2000s. We’ve settled for unpaid internships, toxic bosses, and nights in the office while every image on social media shows us our dream being lived by others. We’ve dealt with one calamity after another, with an impending climate crisis, and economic collapse in the face of unending inflation.  And even having a stable job with a monthly salary will eventually not be enough for us to retire in the state of comfort that we’ve been envisioning. At least not in this economy without a lot of investing and saving (slow investing is a good starting point). 

The adult milestones have moved, as Moraine notes. The concept of ambition is changing, and we’re trying to reconcile that with the reality that we live to get by in a capitalistic society. “It sounds so bizarre to my friends and family, but the minute I made time to indulge in a hobby, I didn’t feel so unhappy at work,” says Jaipur-based lawyer Srestha Rupak Mali, 34. It has been a conscious effort to take the time, but having a sense of fulfilment and achievement from something other than work has made her feel more well-rounded. “I’m not only Srestha, the lawyer now. I’m a macramé artist, gardening enthusiast, yoga lover and pet parent. It took that break into macramé for me to realise that there is more to life than my job.” 

Mali says that financial security from her work has allowed her to indulge in the hobbies she wants to try out, but Khanna adds that it doesn’t have to be something pricey or dramatic. “When you find fulfilment in other aspects of your life you won’t be so consumed by your job. That helps us break this intrinsic link we have between our work and identity. Then we can look at our jobs with more realistic expectations too.”

It’s easy to say quit your job if you’re unhappy at work, but it’s not something most people can afford to do, especially in such a competitive job market. Instead, Khanna advises identifying which aspect of your job is bringing you down. Is it the work itself, lack of recognition, promotion, or a colleague or supervisor who’s making your day difficult? 

If we can pinpoint the issue, we can start thinking about how to address it – whether it’s by learning how to toot your own horn to stand out in the crowd, or finding a sponsor who will advocate on your behalf behind closed doors. 

“Think about your long-term goals. Is it to make enough money to eventually move to Goa, for example, and open a restaurant? Do you want to be your own boss as an independent contractor or start a business of your own? You can continue doing your job, and upskill on the side to help you better prepare to achieve your future goals,” says Khanna.

Perhaps there is a different job in your field that would interest you more. The only way to find out would be to network and speak with peers in the industry about other career options that could tickle your fancy.

Even when you have a deadline looming over your head, Khanna says it’s important to take little breaks through your work day. This break could be a stroll around the office with your chai cup, ten minutes doing a sudoku puzzle, or texting your girlfriends for a quick catch-up session. 

If work is simply a credit message hitting your bank account every month, that’s absolutely fine too. Ambition looks different for everyone, then focus on the other aspects of your life that will help you broaden your perspective and sense of self. 

It’s easy to be disheartened, disillusioned, and unhappy at work every now and then. Our work can’t be everything we are.

*Name changed upon contributor’s request for anonymity.