How to talk money with your ageing parents without starting a fight

Minimise eye rolls, maximise impact

When 62-year-old Arvind Kumar, a retired teacher from Mumbai, suffered a sudden stroke and passed away just 10 days later, his children were traumatised in more ways than one. First, their efforts to navigate his health crisis had met an unforeseen roadblock – they had no access to his medical insurance details or bank accounts as hospital expenses mounted. And after his death, they were inundated with legal hurdles, endless paperwork and frustrating delays for six months – when all they needed was time to grieve their father. “If we had talked about his finances earlier, we could have saved ourselves so much stress,” his daughter Vidya says.

Sound familiar? Money is the ultimate no-go zone in many Indian households, and initiating a conversation on finances with ageing parents can feel awkward, uncomfortable and like you’re trying to start a fight. But here’s the thing: avoiding it only makes things worse. Think last-minute hospital bills, frantic searches for that one important document, or watching your family WhatsApp group explode into a full-blown courtroom drama over inheritance.

“It’s 2025, and these discussions need to be mainstream,” says Dipika Jaikishan, co-founder, Basis Foundation, a financial services company that caters exclusively to women. We all need to plan early, document everything and ensure financial security for everyone involved.”

7 essential financial conversations to have with your ageing parents

1. Getting a clear picture of their financial landscape
“Too often, kids have no clue about their parents’ finances,” says Jaikishan. To change this, start with a simple conversation: “Can we go over your finances together, just so I know where things stand?”

Beyond understanding their financial picture, help your parents consolidate and simplify their accounts. Work with them to create a centralised record which includes:

• Investments like stocks, bonds, mutual funds, public provident fund (PPF), employees’ provident fund (EPF), real estate, gold, alternate assets.
• Insurance like health, life, long-term care policies.
• Estate planning which includes their will, nominee details, power of attorney.
• Key contacts for tax expert, lawyer, financial planner.

Tip: Create a simple spreadsheet listing active accounts, investment details, and due dates.

2. Updating legal documents
“Lack of a clear, well-drafted will can lead to ugly disputes,” cautions Rajdeepak Saxena, a corporate lawyer who specialises in tax and estate planning. “It’s also important to keep nominees updated, maintain joint accounts, and structure inheritance properly.”

Tip: If your parents don’t have these legal documents, help them get started by connecting them with a trusted lawyer.

3. Planning for medical and long-term care costs
We’ve all heard stories of families who ended up draining their savings to pay for medical expenses. Jaikishan says, “Medical costs can wipe out wealth if not planned for. Adequate health and long-term care insurance is a must.”

Start by examining your parents’ existing policy—what’s covered, what’s not, and is it enough. If it falls short, help them look into senior-friendly health insurance plans.

Tip: You can also help them set up a dedicated healthcare fund for unexpected expenses.

4. Making them aware of scams
While online banking is convenient, it also comes with security risks—especially scams like phishing emails, fraudulent calls, and fake messages. “Educating parents on how to identify scams is crucial,” says Saxena. “Simple steps like verifying links before clicking and avoiding sharing OTPs can go a long way in keeping their money safe.”

Tip: If they’re hesitant to learn from you, arrange sessions with a professional who can guide them step by step.

5. Exploring smart investments
For seniors, financial security is about preserving wealth rather than taking risks. Jaikishan suggests educating them about low-risk, steady-return options such as:

• Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS): 8%+ interest, government-backed.
• Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS): Fixed monthly income.
• RBI Floating Rate Bonds: No risk, decent returns.
• Debt Mutual Funds and Target Maturity Funds: Tax-efficient, steady returns.
• Fixed Deposits (FDs) and Annuities: For stability.

Tip: Encourage them to have a mix of liquid assets (easy to access) and long-term investments (for steady income) that are aligned to their retirement goals.

6. Finding forgotten assets
When 68-year-old Neelam Sharma, a retired bank employee from Noida, passed away, her children thought they had everything under control because Neelam had a will. But a few months later, they discovered a fixed deposit worth ₹15 lakh that was never mentioned in it. This oversight led to a long, tedious process of proving their relationship to the bank and gaining access to the account. “We realised there could be other forgotten assets,” says Amit Sharma, her son. “Mom always kept things to herself.”

Over time, parents may lose track of old investments—initiate conversations that give their memory a nudge, help them sift through old financial documents, and reclaim any lost assets by:

• Searching for unclaimed dividends, shares, or debentures using the IEPF website (iepf.gov.in). You can file a claim for retrieval.
• Using the EPFO Member Portal (epfindia.gov.in) to track and claim old PF accounts with the UAN or member ID.
• Checking if the PAN is linked to old accounts or assets. It helps trace investments made under a name.

Tip: Maintain both physical and digital records of all important financial documents to ensure easy access and tracking of assets.

7. Consider tax-saving strategies
Many senior citizens are eligible for various tax exemptions but often don’t fully utilise them. “The first step should be finding out which tax regime suits senior citizens. The choice depends on individual income, eligible deductions, and financial goals,” says Saxena.

Jaikishan also suggests making them aware of:

• Higher tax exemption limits available for those above 60 and 80 years of age.
• Maximising Section 80C investments, such as PPF, SCSS, and life insurance policies.
• Ensuring they utilise health insurance benefits under Section 80D.
• Leveraging strategies like gifting and Hindu Undivided Family (HUF) to reduce taxable income effectively.

Tip: If taxes seem overwhelming, involve a financial planner to optimise their tax savings.

Have the talk without the drama

“Approaching financial discussions with ageing parents requires empathy and patience,” says Dr Gauri Karkhanis, consultant, psychiatry and mental health, Nanavati Max Super Speciality Hospital, Mumbai. It doesn’t have to feel like stepping on a landmine, if done right:

• Pick the right moment. No one wants to talk about bank accounts when they’re already annoyed about the neighbour’s loud music or watching their favourite TV serial.
• Frame it as help, not control. “In Indian families, framing the conversation around duty—such as saying, “It’s my responsibility to ensure you’re well taken care of”—can facilitate openness,” says Dr Karkhanis.
• Involve siblings tactfully. Divide responsibilities, so it doesn’t turn into Survivor: Family Edition.

“If they’re still hesitant, allow them time; these discussions often require multiple conversations to build trust and make progress,” Dr Karkhanis adds.

At the end of the day, a talk about money with ageing parents isn’t about micromanaging their funds—it’s about ensuring they’re secure, stress-free, and in control of their choices. And when the time comes, so are you.