Why on earth do we have armpit fat?

We poke and prod at it, tuck it under our bras strap. It’s the only thing coming in the way of your Insta-perfect snapshot and dreams of becoming a sari influencer so you conceal it with your hair and pallu. That weird little pudge that exists between your arm and chest — underarm bulge, armpit lump, back-up boobs and if we want to get scientific, the axillary tail of Spence. For the sake of simplicity, let’s stick to armpit fat. 

I say armpit fat because if you Google it, you’ll discover pages of ‘helpful’ exercises to get rid of this poltergeist that’s ruining all our outfits. Many of our arm phobias exist because of this tiresome pudge. That additional accessory to every sleeveless top; the supporting act to rocking tank tops in summer, the keeda stopping you from unleashing your inner sexy Sheila in lacey lingerie and négligées.

Women have more complicated relationships with their armpit fat than with their IRL partners. What are you, you looming cloud of doom that stops me from removing my Forever 21 kimono in public even when it’s peak summer (Delhi summer, mind you). 

Are you a fat deposit? Extra skin trying to escape into the forest forming under my arms or my life’s disappointments manifesting in the form of cell tissue? Between the weight loss tips and workout routines, I could find almost no information about the many reasons for your existence. Genetics, fatty tissue or extender breast tissue. It’s possible that skin gets pushed up and out when you wear an ill-fitting bra. 

The sad fact is that there’s little we can do about it other than accept it as an extension of ourselves. Unlike our bye-bye arm fat, diet and exercise could reduce its appearance, but not destroy it altogether.

Maybe if we draw a little smiley face on both sides, it will make it easier to live with. We’ll soon be as attached to it as Chandler was to his nubbin (though he does get it surgically removed later on). 

In reality, most people have armpit fat. Even supermodels like Chrissy Teigen, who got it lipo-ed out only to have it return. The curviest to the slimmest of people of all ages bare these bags of perpetual disdain. 

There are 3 options really. Avoid tube tops and anything without sleeves, shell out the bucks for liposuction, or just accept it. As Jennifer Lawrence famously said, “I know I have armpit fat, it’s OK… it’s armpit vaginas.”