Your life as a desi kid, summed up in 15 divine proclamations from the meme gods
It happens only in India
There are certain codes that all Indian kids are programmed at birth to understand.
For instance, “Do whatever you like/ Do what you want” for all Indian kids translates to “If you step out of this house, you will have to find a different permanent address.”
There are also certain alarming sounds that we’ve become immune to — the Indian father’s unnecessarily loud and horrifying sneeze that wakes you up faster than mom’s incessant ‘utho’ shriek (obviously she’s lying and saying it’s 10am, when it is in fact 8:45am), blaring bhajans that you’ve been conditioned to sleep through, and the periodic ‘Out. Out. Out! Umpire andha hai kya!?” during cricket World Cup season.
Another permanent fixture in the lives of Indian kids? Parents with an idiosyncratic set of quirks. Quirks that you can’t live with or without, quirks that digital content creators would not be able to survive or be half as interesting without.
These 15 examples perfectly exemplify the life of all Indian kids, and there are no points for guessing that most slots are occupied by our “not clingy and intrusive, but loving, beta” parents.
15 memes all Indian kids can relate to
Photo credit: Pinterest
Indian parents are generous when it comes to allowing their children to choose their professions. They give them all of three options – doctor, lawyer, and engineer. If that’s not freedom, then we don’t know what is.
All other professions are automatically categorised as hobbies.
If you’ve had your share of chyavanprash and are courageous enough to propose the idea of venturing into Bollywood, rest assured that you’re in for a single-screen drama complete with tears, fake heart attacks, and ‘yeh sunne se pehele mai mar kyun nahin gayi’.
Photo credit: Instagram
Yes, Sushma aunty, if you last saw me when I was a newborn, then I am bound to have grown. You should be shocked if you meet a 21 year old who is still in diapers and drooling all over herself.
And no, I don’t remember you from when I was three months old.
Photo credit: Instagram
In the early 2000s, all parents seemed to have had a collective Ghajini moment and forgotten about a game-changing technological advancement — the calculator.
This memory lapse led to Indian parents enrolling their progeny for abacus and mental maths classes, which ruined children’s weekends and bruised their self-esteem for life.
No Rita ma’am, I cannot tell you what 8,765 multiplied by 389 is in 15 seconds flat.
Photo credit: Instagram
You could have a fleet of cars in your driveway or travel by private jets, but the one thing that can threaten all the inheritance that your father has worked day and night for is the fan you forgot to switch off before you left the room.
Cue an onslaught of ‘paise ped par nahin ugte’, and ‘you are not rich, you just happen to have a rich father’.
Photo credit: Pinterest
Telepathy is nothing out of the ordinary for us Indians, and it’s all thanks to Shah Rukh Khan.
It could be the unassuming Jaya Bachchan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham‘s iconic scene, or Simran knowing Raj is waiting for her amidst sarson ke khet.
This guy really knows how to make his presence felt.
Photo credit: Instagram
This meme signifies two core ingredients that make up the Indian father – the ability to not recognise someone they met just seconds ago (even the children they’ve created, named, and most importantly, spent their hard-earned money on), and pushing said child to do better no matter how hard they work (“It’s for your own good, okay?”).
Photo credit: Instagram
People have eyebrows. Indians have what might seem like harmless trails of hair that suddenly sprout during puberty and resemble a fuzzy anaconda sprawled across their forehead.
So, we would like to use this platform to state that even though us brown girls are all for dismantling patriarchal constructs, taming the unruly beast is nothing but an act of self-love.
Photo credit: Instagram
In the West, kids leave family gatherings with muffin tops, polaroids, and airtight containers stuffed with leftovers. Indian kids leave annual get-togethers with sore backs and a pharmacy bill for Moov.
If you think Barry’s Bootcamp is a high-intensity workout, try attending the Diwali pooja at our homes and greeting all the relatives without your back giving way.
Photo credit: Instagram
Parathas over Prada.
If you aren’t on the paratha bandwagon, then you don’t matter.
With a scoop of tangy aachar, some cold dahi, a dollop of ghee, or with the divine aloo stuffing – you can never go wrong with a paratha.
And truth be told, it is in fact the OG all-day breakfast food. #Parathaforpresident
Photo credit: Instagram
No Indian girl really wants her girlfriends to get married — that just means the parade of rishta aunties is headed her way next.
The enthusiasm is because it’s an opportunity to play dress-up without budget constraints.
Photo credit: Pinterest
The only time you will see an Indian father express any emotion is when they have a SALE sign glaring at them.
Nothing gives them more joy than a great deal. Not even India reaching the semi-finals of the cricket World Cup and not even aloo ki tikki.
Photo credit: Instagram
Every Indian kid, when asked for a needle and thread, instinctively reached for the tin box with cookies plastered all over it.
If you actually use that box to store cookies, that can mean two things – one, your dadi is unaware of the existence of this container or you don’t live with your dadi, who is probably missing you as we speak, so go give her a call and tell her how much you love her.
Photo credit: Instagram
If your phone is lying next to me and pings, I will check your message and read it out loud to the rest of the room, and you can’t do anything about it.
Sharing is caring, and in case of Indian families, the default setting you’re programmed to and have no control over.
Photo credit: Instagram
Indian parents don’t apologise.
They gloat if they’re right, and on the rare occasion that they are wrong (a time that will conveniently be forgotten, and you will subsequently be deemed badtameez for conjuring this imaginary incident up), they will just come offer you food and/or water and go about their business.
The white flag is a white dhokla.
Photo credit: Instagram
Airports, libraries, the doctor’s waiting room, cars, and especially right next to your ear when you are sound asleep — all considered the perfect place to watch Whatsapp forwards at the highest volume.
Including videos of yogis doing kapalbharti which, out of context, have the ability to emulate other, more inappropriate content.