Does splitting the bill evenly on a night out make me a miser?

Google Pay is like that frenemy you just can’t shed. It makes life so convenient — no more digging around your cavernous tote for spare change or worrying about finding an ATM in the middle of the night to pay the cabbie. Scan a barcode, input your password, swoosh, and it’s done. But that ease of living comes with a sticky flipside —  like waking up to a notification that you spent ₹2,500 on a dinner date with your girlfriends after splitting the bill evenly. Except, all you had was nimbu paani and sweet corn soup while they followed their rounds of gin and tonic with lobster mac and cheese. Extra truffle shavings. 

Things are more straightforward when it’s a professional coffee meet-up or a date night with your partner. Ask around, and you usually get two answers. The invitee pays, or you rotate and pay on alternate nights out. But how do you go about smoothly splitting the bill with friends after a night out? 

It’s awkward, even if the friends you’re going out with have been your ride-or-dies. Priorities differ when everyone has different budgets and monthly SIPs for mutual funds and insurance policies. Especially as you get older, and there are more responsibilities on your plate than slices of chilli cheese toast.

The Tweak team’s dabba debate about splitting the bill equally or paying only for what you had left us more confused than ever. So, we took the question to our readers— Do you square the tab evenly even if what others ordered was extravagant? What about when there’s alcohol involved? Will they think you’re a miser if you ask everyone to pay their share, especially when Aditya never actually pays you back after insisting that he will tomorrow? 

Honesty is the best policy, said many of our readers, advising us to be upfront about our budget for the night. “If they are good friends, they will come up with a solution. It will be more annoying to them that you didn’t say anything after making plans and then come to the restaurant and say you won’t eat much, and it’s a big hassle when the bill comes,” says Catherine Dayal.

Ashmita Chand also advises bringing it up before actually agreeing on a location. “When coming to a group event where the aim is to hang out, eat and socialise — please come prepped to do that,” she says. “If one friend wants to deviate from the plan, that’s fine. Just let the group know so that it’s not last minute, and to prevent any awkwardness come bill time.”

This is the approach most favoured by experts as well. Author and etiquette Daniel Post Senning told CNBC that the topic of splitting the bill should be addressed before you order anything. He suggests trying these conversation starters — “Hey, I’m wondering how we’re planning to split this up — anyone have any ideas?” Or, “I’m going to keep things really small tonight, so I’m going to ask for a separate check.”

If everyone has decided to pay for their individual orders, using an app like Splitwise makes tallying easy at the end of a big night, say Tweak readers Neha Dave and Seethalakshmi KS. That way you’re not trying to crunch numbers after a round of tequila shots. 

Sometimes, as much as we love our friends, an underlying sense of comparison does exist, whether we acknowledge it or not. You may not want to own up to how much you’re willing to pay. So maybe the easiest answer is Jyotsna Rao’s – don’t go anywhere. Eat at home and save money.

Mom would be so proud.