This book will be your BFF if you're constantly fighting with Ma over Tupperware dabbas
Books to help you navigate love, loss, motherhood and more
I first faced death as a cold, hard slab of ice on which my grandmother lay. I was only five, unaware of the permanence of death, and that image exists in my mind, disconnected from emotion. Grief, however, hit me hard when I lost my beloved dog. I wasn’t there when she passed, working in a different city. Grief is grief, whether it’s a pet, a friend, a family member or your favourite school teacher. The same pit of despair opens up below your feet and pulls you in. It is one of those life milestones we all need to pass. But some, like myself, get stuck.
“This is how you get unstuck, stuck. You reach. Not so you can walk away from the daughter you loved, but so you can live the life that is yours — the one that includes the sad loss of your daughter, but is not arrested by it. The one that eventually leads you to a place in which you not only grieve her, but also feel lucky to have had the privilege of loving her. That place of true healing is a fierce place,” wrote author and columnist Cheryl Strayed in response to one grieving reader in her columns, Dear Sugar. I had no connection to this reader, but those were exactly the words I needed to read then.
Strayed’s columns were compiled into a book (one of Tweak Book Club’s picks) that has carried thousands of women through difficult times and milestones of womanhood that define us. Some are exhilarating highs, while others are disastrous lows.
From the first time you advocate for yourself at work (if you won’t toot your own horn, who will?) to the exact moment you feel your heartbreak, we’ve all weathered turbulent episodes of change, love and loss. And in these times, having the right book by your side can help you emerge a little less scathed, and more at peace.
Literary companions to carry you through life’s ups and downs
Milestone: Puberty, pimples and periods
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
This timeless coming-of-age classic centres on Margaret Simon, a sixth-grader grappling with the rollercoaster of adolescence. From worries about puberty and boys to her quest to fit in, Margaret’s journey is marked by candid explorations of girlhood concerns such as menstruation, friendship and self-discovery. An enduring portrayal of the trials and triumphs of growing up, this book continues to strike a chord with a young generation of readers.
Milestone: First love and heartbreak
When Dimple Met Rishi by Sandhya Menon
Adapted into the Netflix show Mismatched, When Dimple Met Rishi follows two Indian-American teens who meet at a summer tech program. Dimple, fiercely independent and career-driven, clashes with Rishi, a hopeless romantic who embraces his parents’ desire for an arranged marriage.
Despite initial differences, their shared experience during the program sparks unexpected connections and challenges their preconceived notions. The novel explores cultural expectations and personal growth, all while a heartwarming romance blossoms, a reminder that love can catch you off guard. And even if it doesn’t work out, there’s always something to look forward to (partner or no partner).
Milestone: Leaving the nest for freedom
Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed
Tweak Book Club’s pick for April is this compilation of Cheryl Strayed’s poignant and deeply personal advice columns, written under the pseudonym Sugar. The collection offers wisdom, empathy, and encouragement to those navigating major life transitions, such as moving out and living alone for the first time.
Through heartfelt anecdotes and compassionate guidance, Strayed reassures readers that they are not alone in their journey and offers practical advice on embracing independence, finding strength in vulnerability, and creating a home that reflects one’s true self.
Milestone: Navigating motherhood
The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
Amy Tan explores the intricate dynamics of mother-daughter relationships through this deeply moving account of four Chinese-American immigrant mothers and their American-born daughters. Set in San Francisco, the story unfolds through interlinked vignettes, alternating between the perspectives of the two generations.
The mothers, who endured hardships in China, later established the Joy Luck Club to share stories and play mahjong. They try to pass on their cultural heritage to their daughters, who, in turn, are struggling to reconcile their American identities with their mothers’ expectations. This is a great read for moms and daughters looking to work on their relationship (or let it go)—especially if you’re a first or second-generation immigrant.
Milestone: Confronting grief and loss
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
In Joan Didion’s writing, we witness a raw and unflinching account of grief. The memoir examines the aftermath of loss, particularly the year after the sudden death of Didion’s husband, writer John Gregory Dunne. Her grief is compounded by the grave illness of their daughter, Quintana, who falls into a coma shortly before John’s death.
Didion grapples with shock and denial, clinging to the belief that John is still alive, and choosing to be in a state of “magical thinking”. Memories surface unexpectedly, blurring the lines between reality and wishful thinking. Didion meticulously documents the emotional rollercoaster of grief, capturing the confusion, despair, and desperate longing that accompany such profound losses. But this book is also a testament to resilience, enduring love and finding glimmers of happiness every day.
Milestone: Finding your tribe
Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons by Lorna Landvik
The book follows the friendships formed between five women, Faight, Audrey, Merit, Kari, and Slip, over the course of four decades. It begins in a 1960s Minneapolis neighbourhood, where these women come together to form a book club playfully named AHEB or ‘Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons’.
Through the ups and downs of their lives, the book club remains a constant source of support, laughter and solace. Each woman shows up in all her uniqueness, and together, they navigate the challenges of marriage, motherhood and personal growth. The novel shines as a powerful example of the enduring nature of female friendship.
Milestone: The end of a relationship
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
After the end of her marriage, Glennon Doyle embarks on a powerful journey of self-discovery. The memoir compels us to reconnect with our intuition and desires, the repressed wild spirit yearning to break free. Doyle challenges societal norms, particularly around motherhood, arguing against self-sacrifice and advocating for mothers to prioritise their well-being.
Pulling no punches, Doyle shares intimate details of her battle with alcoholism, and delves into the complexities of creating a blended family after divorce. She introduces the concept of an “untamed” approach to family structures, which might involve unconventional living arrangements or parenting styles that prioritise individual well-being over societal expectations. By sharing these experiences, Doyle encourages readers to embrace vulnerability, let go of perfectionism, and champion their true self.
Milestone: Starting your dream business
The Startup Wife by Tahmima Anam
Asha Ray, the novel’s leading lady, is a coder who dreams of creating a tech platform that will revolutionise the way people connect and interact. When her husband, Cyrus Jones, a brilliant scientist, joins forces with her to bring her idea to life by creating an app, their startup quickly gains traction and attracts attention from investors and the media. However, as their project grows, so do the challenges they face—both personally and professionally.
As they navigate the highs and lows of startup life, Asha and Cyrus grapple with questions of ethics and the true meaning of innovation. Tech lovers or those with an entrepreneurial streak might find value in the novel’s themes of power, ambition and pursuing one’s dreams.
Milestone: Preparing for menopause
The Menopause Manifesto by Dr Jen Gunter
In this comprehensive guide, Dr Gunter, a renowned obstetrician-gynaecologist, offers a thorough, myth-busting account of menopause. By combining medical expertise with a compassionate and empowering approach, the book aims to assist women in navigating this often misunderstood stage of life.
Dr Gunter addresses common misconceptions surrounding menopause, and offers evidence-based guidance to help readers understand the physical, emotional and psychological changes that occur during this transition. She covers a wide range of topics, including hormone therapy, sexual health and mental well-being, and also challenges the stigma and shame that surround this phase of life. This is a valuable resource for women seeking knowledge, support and guidance through their menopausal journey.
