Why am I so tightly sealed up 'down there'? 

It sounds like the name of an ancient Greek philosopher who you’ve forgotten about because you snoozed through your history lessons. But there’s nothing logical about vaginismus, one of the most common sexual dysfunctions in women. Vaginismus is a condition where the muscles around the vagina tighten involuntarily, making penetration painful or even impossible. 

At first, vaginismus can feel like an enigma wrapped in a riddle, leaving people scratching their heads, wondering what’s really going on down there. It’s like your nether region protests and goes into lockdown mode with a ‘No Entry’ sign. 

There are a few types of vaginismus that can give you grief, says Dr Vaishnavi Khandelwal, psychologist and trauma specialist. We’ve got primary vaginismus, which is like a stubborn gatekeeper that’s been there from the get-go, making penetration of any kind a perpetual pain from the start. Then there’s secondary vaginismus, which can sneak up on you like hichkis after too many gol gappas. This is when penetration used to be possible, if not pleasant – in the context of sex as well as menstrual hygiene products like tampons and menstrual cups. But seemingly out of nowhere, your pelvic muscles decided to stage a mutiny and seal up, making even a gynaecological examination a painful process (and not just emotionally speaking). 

The numbers are hard to pin down. One study found that 5% to 17% of women have experienced the condition at least one point in their lifetime. A UK-based study found that 1 in every 500 women suffers from vaginismus. In India, the real numbers are unknown, says Dr Rukhsana Hashim, OB-GYN, because people either bear the pain, assuming it’s ‘normal’, or are ashamed to speak about it and seek help. 

The exact cause of vaginismus isn’t known, explains Hashim. While also physical, it’s believed that causes of vaginismus are largely psychologically-driven.

Hashim explains that it could be physical, like a painful experience treating a vaginal or urinary tract infection, physical trauma to the vaginal walls from past sexual experiences, or surgeries. There are also psychological factors, like anxiety, past sexual traumas, or even negative beliefs about sex that your subconscious just can’t shake off. Your body and mind team up without your permission, and it can be very distressing. 

The road to recovery may look foggy, but with some patience and persistence – and talk and physical therapy with a trained expert by your side – you can overcome this glitch in your system and enjoy life (and sex) to the fullest.

A note of caution: Please consult a medical professional to find a treatment plan that will work best for you.