Your guide to masturbation, the ultimate act of self-love
Take a joy ride to pleasure city
Masturbation won’t make you blind, except temporarily when you’re in an orgasmic state of bliss. It won’t give you acne, mess with your period, cause horns to grow out of your skull or any of the dozen creative myths associated with this ultimate — and completely natural — act of self-love
Since the female of the species is often taught that she must be an evergreen people-pleaser, the question of pleasing herself is never really been brought up. Which explains the unanswered queries and myths that cloak the female body, to the point where we need a Google map to navigate our own genitals.
Since Indians love nothing more than a jugaadu DIY, allow this guide to masturbation to take the mantra ‘treat yourself’ to a whole new level.
A self-love guide to female masturbation
Explore your body
As the great poet and philosopher John Mayer put it, your body is a wonderland. So, as an act of self-love, explore it.
If we’re to go by what Monica says in Friends, there are seven erogenous zones on a woman’s body. These are sensitive hotspots that can trigger erotic arousal and can be different for everyone.
Run your hands over your body; your breasts, nipples, thighs, neck. Caress, linger, try different strokes and pressures to see which is the most responsive. Basically “any area on the body that has the potential to create erotic and sexual arousal when touched,” says Jenni Skyler, Ph.D, sexologist, and director of The Intimacy Institute in Colorado.
Move beyond your genitals and involve your whole body in this exploration.
It can be a meditative act – tune in to your body’s needs and show that spot some love.
Treat yourself with the tenderness you would show towards another. Once you figure out what you like, it’ll only get better when you include a partner.
Just the tip and then the leap
Men are more likely to find the sunken city of Atlantis before the clitoris.
To the touch, it’s that tiny nub, the bump of flesh before the urethral and vaginal opening. Comprising 8,000 nerve endings, this is your go-to for the easiest road to jannat.
Like you would a hot cheesy pizza slice, go for it from all sides. Start slow and build it up.
Add another finger, caress it from the sides; go round and round, side to side or up and down.
Your experience can change from one second to the next, and you’ll intuitively know what road to take next.
Sexual health educator Debra Herbenick adds, “Just because it’s sensitive, doesn’t mean everyone wants it to be stimulated directly. Some women prefer touching near the clitoris but not on it.”
Photo: Malvestida / Unsplash
Many of us tend to hold us breath as we get more aroused.
Try long, slow deep breaths instead. It’ll stop your body from tensing up and cramping. And if you want and you’re ready, take yourself to penetration station and the G-spot with your fingers.
Jet, set, go
Jet sprays are becoming the go-to pleasure maker for female masturbation. In fact, jet sprays and hand-held showers, running water, so to speak, have been the silent partner in many women’s sex lives for a while now.
But there are risks to be mindful of.
Dr. Tripti Sharan, OBGYN, explains that natural vaginal flora maintains a slightly acidic environment with a pH of 3.5 – 4.5 to stave off infections.
Water from the jet spray shooting into your vagina can have a similar effect to douching, which has been called out by doctors for disrupting the vaginal environment and balance of healthy bacteria.
A contaminated showerhead can push particles into the vaginal tract, irritate the tissue and trigger a chain of nasty events, increasing the likelihood of yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis.
So while a Ménage à Moi featuring water is effective, keep it to the external genitalia. Also, we’re heading for a serious water crisis, so best to keep a limit on it too.
The toys that adults need
We don’t mean the roadside ones you get on Colaba Causeway.
Internal and external vibrators, dildos in different sizes, little vibrating rings and even ones that are disguised as lipsticks.
Shed your inhibitions and make the investment. Sex toys can aid and abet the best orgasm of your life.
Discreet websites are popping up all over the country, with smaller wallet-friendly options starting from ₹1,500 to hi-tech creations that seem right out of Mr Grey’s Red Room.
Try the different vibration settings – go long and slow, fast and intense. Make it an experience rather than a secret task.
The money is worth the toe-curling joy ride it takes you on.