These lovers reunited after 17 years. Only one thing keeps them apart — his wife

Romcoms make us root for the hero and heroine to end up together, even if he’s confessing his love at the very mandap where the heartbroken almost-groom is sitting helplessly. Whether it’s disapproving dads wearing Amrish Puri scowls or community feuds à la Montague and Capulet, the filmi couple will prevail. But what about the third end of this love triangle — the one who thought they were the main character, only to face a rude awakening?

Anshul* and Preeti* were school-aged sweethearts who never wanted to split up. Preeti’s account of their relationship — shared with us and verified by Anshul himself — paints a touching picture of true love that endures. For years after they broke up, she’s been plagued with thoughts and dreams of the life she could have had (can you really manifest your true love?) 

Relegated to the background of that picture is Anshul’s wife — who is refusing to grant Anshul a divorce and let these star-crossed lovers reunite. After all, she rightly considers Preeti to be the interloper in her own happily ever after. 

Whose love story is it anyway? Decide for yourself as you read Preeti’s account.  

***

Anshul and I were in the same school back in the ’90s. We started seeing each other, but when his parents found out, they sent him off to a different city so he could concentrate on his board exams. 

His parents happened to be teachers in my school, so we’d bump into each other when he came back to visit. We could feel the spark, but our lives were moving on, and at that time, there were no means to stay in touch.

Then in 2002, after almost three years, I bumped into Anshul in a cafe while visiting our hometown. We began talking again. He still referred to me as his girlfriend, and hadn’t been seeing anyone else. 

I told him that my parents were eager to get me married. He asked for time to finish his degree and approach my parents, but my father was very dominating, and I didn’t have the guts to voice my feelings. By November 2003, I was engaged. I didn’t know how to tell him. 

When he found out through mutual friends, he was very upset. By the next month, when Anshul was finally finished with his degree, I was married. 

For the next 15 years, we didn’t have any contact. But throughout that period, I kept having intense dreams about him. I was also having a very tough time in my marriage. Whenever I was mistreated, I’d wonder if karma was punishing me for thinking of Anshul. By 2017, after enduring abuse, neglect and marital rape, I decided to divorce my husband. I had no support, my father didn’t believe these were good enough reasons for divorce.

I looked for Anshul’s profile on Facebook and started stalking him, but I never wanted to approach him. He was married with a daughter and I didn’t want to cause problems. My school friends urged me to simply get in touch, laughing at my fears.  “You feel he’s a Devdas pining for you, what rubbish.”

Yet I did nothing until February 5, 2019. I remember the date. I woke up from a dream and felt like Anshul was standing right next to my bed. I realised we never had any closure, and it was high time I apologised. I messaged him, and was on tenterhooks for hours until I got a reply.

Turns out, it wasn’t just me having these ideas. Anshul was stalking me on Facebook, too. He didn’t even marry until my son was born, hopeful that I might come back. Then he gave in to his parents’ requests and married someone of their choice. 

The way I would reminisce on his birthdays, he did the same thing. In school, we had cassette tapes of songs we’d dedicated to each other. He still played these songs on my birthday, even though we hadn’t been in touch at all for over 15 years. 

Though he was happy in his marriage, he didn’t share the emotional connection with his wife that he had with me. The frequency and duration of our conversations gradually increased. We knew we were headed in the wrong direction, and tried to stop it, but we’d keep finding our way back to each other.

That’s when Anshul decided to be honest with his wife. Naturally, she was shocked. They went to couples’ therapy, and the therapist pointed out that he wasn’t expressing his true feelings. He’d never even told his wife he’d had a girlfriend before their marriage.

Anshul’s wife began calling me up and accusing me. I used to tell her that she could take it out on me once and for all, and then I’d like to help her to build a bond with her husband. I really thought I could help them, and then I’d have my own peace. But she was not ready to listen, I guess anybody in her position would have felt the same.

By now, Anshul had become super clear on what he wanted: to separate. His wife was equally clear that she wouldn’t let it happen. 

There was a lot of immaturity in how we handled it. She used to tell me that the day I get divorced, maybe she’ll also leave Anshul. So she got the shock of her life when she actually saw my divorce papers. At that point, her stance changed completely.

We pleaded and requested, to no avail. In 2020, she took a different approach. She got in touch with my brothers. She threatened that if things between us didn’t stop, she would inform the police. Her mother, who happens to be very influential, egged her on. My family and I hail from a small place where reputation is everything.

One day, Anshul was so fed up that he left their home and lived as a paying guest for two weeks — the first step towards separation and divorce. Alarmed by this decision, his parents came to my family home, which is how my dad found out. He was furious, calling me crude names and saying this is why I wanted my divorce. Distraught, I called Anshul up and asked him to return home.

But he started fighting his own battle by taking a step back from all family events. He stopped being intimate with her in 2019, feeling he would be cheating on me. That’s when she started involving his family as well, threatening to take him to the police and get him beaten. They even approached his manager and ruined his reputation at work, preventing him from getting a promotion. His attitude was: do what you want, I still want to step out of this marriage. I am done.  

If a person has staked everything, his social, personal professional reputation fighting for me, how can I back out? When I’d tell him to stop, he’d reply that he’s fighting to live his childhood dream. 

Still, Anshul’s wife was not ready to listen. She read our chats and saw his expressions of love, she even hired a private detective to record our calls. But she wouldn’t agree to the divorce, she wanted a man in the house, a father for their daughter.  

In November 2022, Anshul came to meet me to end our affair. He didn’t want to keep giving me false hope of a future, not when a divorce might mean he could no longer see his daughter. By that time, I’d left my father’s home and moved with my son to a new city.

Because of the threat of losing his daughter, we stopped pursuing the idea of a divorce. Although his wife believes we are totally out of touch, we message here and there. This time, I’m the weak one who instigated it. Coming from a family where I was never accepted by my father, I got married into almost the same environment. The only person who ever stood by me was Anshul. 

The moment he said he wanted to end our relationship, I was devastated. I’m not proud of it, but we went 17 years without talking and still had a connection. The label isn’t important as long as the feelings are there.

I still struggle sometimes to understand his wife’s perspective. She’s earning well, has a house to her name. She can have a better life if she wants to give herself a second chance. But she can’t get over the stigma of divorce. What example is she showing to her daughter? 

Like my father, Anshul’s mother-in-law believes that if you’re married, you stay in the house. She doesn’t want the divorcée tag for her daughter, no matter what. 

Our legal system is complicated. Technically, Anshul’s wife can’t keep him apart from his daughter, but what action can he take against it? Legally, my ex has been instructed to pay for my son’s education, but he doesn’t do that. And I can’t do anything apart from file a case and go to court all over again. 

I don’t hold a grudge against Anshul’s wife. Her anxiety over the stigma of divorce is real. I pray someone will show her what she’s missing because right now, she’s signed up for a loveless life for her and her husband. 

*Names changed to protect privacy